We have started to refer to Kyle’s death as a kind of point zero, time BKD (Before Kyle Died) and AKD (After Kyle Died), because our lives are totally different from that point on. A very difficult day for our family, both because it’s my 2nd Mother’s Day without Kyle and this time even without Cash. Vince, my husband, is also having a hard day as his mother died last year, so this is also his second Mother’s day without her. So as you can imagine, it wasn’t the happiest of days for us. I started my day by going to the dog beach to spend some time with Kyle’s ashes. I had not been looking for anything, but quite out of the blue I saw a special locket in a window and when I asked my husband if I could buy it as a gift from Kyle, he said of course, go for it. It was a bit tricky getting the photos of our family small enough but I managed: myself, my two children, Christina & Kyle and my son-in-law Yee on the front, and on the back my 4 grandchildren in age order, Amy (5), Connor (almost 3), Cash (1) and Piper (2 months). I took it down to the beach with me and laid it in the sand to connect with Kyle and explain, and afterwards put it on for the first time. He also helped me find some shells and driftwood that I want to use for a creative project I am making.
We took Cebar, our dog, down and he had a wonderful time there. It would have been lovely to have had Kyle’s dog, Ballzac with us, but despite our families attempts at contact, these were ignored, so that was not possible this year, nor was seeing Cash.
Yee was working away, so our family lunch was just Christina and her children and Vince and myself. During the preceding week, I had a Shamanic Healing Session with my friend and she gave me a message from Kyle for Mother’s Day – I was to get myself some yellow roses! So I did on the way back from visiting the beach, at the Brighton Deli. In addition, Christina and her family also gave me yellow flowers, along with a Parlour Palm and some Dottera Oil – Whisper. Very kind and generous of them. Amy made me a gorgeous card – I feel so very loved and spoilt! I also cut off some yellow roses from Kyle’s rose bush at our home, backed by some frangipani leaves from his frangipani and wrapped them up to give to his sister today, she was pleased. It’s in these small, but significant ways, we try to include Kyle with us even though he is no longer here in body. Amazingly, he always has a way of letting us know he is around, and he didn’t fail today, the music Christina choose for his funeral presentation (Red Red Wine) came on as we were eating lunch! Love and miss you my baby boy, we all do!
