27 March 2020 – It’s been a long time since I posted here, but it doesn’t mean that things have not been happening for our family, that we have somehow forgotten Kyle or Cash, or that we have not continued to remember them and to celebrate and commemorate important dates to which they are connected – it just means that other things have got in the way of my recording it on this web site.

Mostly my physical health which has taken priority in recent years, and in particular my broken leg, which is not fully healed yet (still one more operation to go – that will make 3). My mobility issues had prevented me from being able go to the Dog Beach where Kyle’s ashes are and although I could go to Gidgiganup to the crash site and see his cross from the road, I was unable to take my usual bunch of flowers down for a very long time. Being wheelchair bound also made it more difficult, although not impossible to visit his memorial rock at Pinnaroo. So rest assured significant days were never forgotten if not remembered in the usual way.

Vince and I planned to have a well earned and much needed break away to the Isle of Skye, the home of my ancestors. We originally planned to go in Sept but as I had to have another operation on my leg this was put back until 11th Dec 2019. It was a magic place, and I took Kyle’s ring and pendant that I wear on a chain with me, so he could connect to the energy of his ancestors. He sent me dragonfly signs (not real ones) as well as feathers whilst I was there.

Family events such as Christmas always include Kyle and Cash, but as we were away for Christmas this year my ornaments for them went to Christina’s house to be celebrated, although I still sent Cash a Portable North Pole message for Christmas, as I do with all the Grandchildren each year. On Skye we bought a Wreath and a Skye Candle Co candle for Kyle.

After all we have been through these past few years Vince suggested we renew our wedding vows on the Isle of Skye a we incorporated ways to remember those who couldn’t be with us using a Candle. I also had yellow roses (which we associate with Kyle) in my bouquet and I wore a “borrowed” pearl bracelet the I bought Christina for her wedding day. Our wedding cake also had a dragon fly on it to represent Kyle.

I also sent money for Christina to get flowers for Kyle’s 4th anniversary of his death on the 24th January 2020 and funeral on 4th Feb 2022. Both days we also did something to commemorate and remember his life where we were, on the Isle of Skye, Scotland. My Mum and Dad also took flowers when they came for a visit to Perth from Darwin.

Skye is famous for it’s Jurassic Dinosaurs, so as a souvenir we bought the Grandchildren signed copies of the launch of a book by local dinosaur historian, Dugald Ross, and of course there was one for Cash, which I will put with all the other things for him, when one day he comes looking for us and finds us.

We intended to spend 4 months there at Wille McLeod’s House, Shulista North Duntulm and I blogged each day of our adventures (https://www.westcoastimages.com.au/blog). This took up most of my time, so I recorded everything there rather than duplication on this site.

We were originally returning on 8th April, but just like our honeymoon was cut short with Kyle’s death, this trip was cut short too – due to Covid19 – the Corona Virus. Australia was planning to shut borders, with many flights being cancelled getting one home was difficult, and the bottom line was if I caught the virus and died, I wanted to be home with my children and grandchildren.

Ironically we made the decision to come back home on Cash’s 4th Birthday – 13th March, we flew out of the UK on 17th March (his mother’s birthday) and arrived in Australia on 19th March, my birthday – weird?

We had to go straight into 14 days of compulsory self-quarantine which we are still under until 2nd April 2020. After which we will probably continue in self-isolation due to my own underlaying health issues (immumo suppressed). I am not ready to join my son on the other side just yet, although a number of times last year my health was so bad in hospital I actually thought my time was up (not trying to be dramatic but it was a very real possibility). Life has been very difficult on so many levels since Kyle left, and the Isle of Skye was a wonderful reprieve and very healing, but the peace and tranquility was quickly overtaken by the chaos and risks of this world pandemic.

We can’t see our family at this time, to initially protect them, and probably to protect us after that. Who knows how long it will be until it is safe to be out and about again. I hope that Cash is okay and I wonder if this current world crisis might prick his mother into letting us have contact with him soon. I hope so – I miss my ginger nut biscuit and think of him often. I am so grateful that he is here even if I can’t see him just now, I know he will want to connect with his father’s family at some point. I just hope I’m still around to see it.

His cousins, Amy (8), Connor (5) and Piper (3) are a huge comfort to me, and he is missing out on getting to know them and share growing up with them, it’s such a shame as they love and miss him so much.

Given that we will be self-isolating I think it is going to be difficult to get to visit any of the significant places for Kyle (the dog beach, the crash site and Pinnaroo) but who knows what the future holds, I hold him in my heart every day and I know he will understand it if I can’t physically get there to pay my respects as I usually would. Something as simple as buying flowers has become impossible as borders close, only essential services remain and people are warned to stay at home with “social distancing” between them for safety.

The country is in crisis, many people are loosing their jobs as businesses close. Vince lost his last November being made redundant, I lost mine after Kyle died, so at least in a way that was a blessing as we had already faced that and don’t have the dilemma of whether to still be at work or not as so many now have to choose – your health or your job! Our plan was to ramp up our photographic businesses – but that’s no longer possible in the current climate. People are having trouble getting food and essentials such as toilet paper and medications, never mind photographs!

https://www.westcoastimages.com.au

https://www.westcoastphotos.com.au

https://www.westcoastdrones.com.au

For the first time in our lives we have just registered as “Unemployed” but are not eligible for assistance at this stage. The future is uncertain, and the world has become a scary place with many people dying and we are at WAR – with an invisible enemy. Masolws Hierarchy of needs is very much in place and it will be survival of the fittest (or the careful!).