Well another year has come and gone, as we learn to soldier on with the “new normal” for our family. I can tell you they are wrong when they say “It will get better in time” or “Time heals all wounds” – that might be the case for many things but not for the death of your child!

I took a gentle approach with myself to the day – taking the dogs for an early morning walk at Edgar Griffiths dog park, and as I pulled out of the garage there on the fence directly opposite was a huge dragonfly! The morning was very ethereal filled with a gentle mist, and we could see the tiny water fragments shining backlit by the rising sun – beautiful. So I enjoyed being the “Lady of the Mist”.

I wanted to make a dessert for the meal I would be sharing later at Neena’s (Kyle’s older sister) and we thought about what were his favourites – Vienetta, Pauls Ice Cream Cake or Trifle? I decided I needed something to distract me a bit and keep me in the moment so decided to make a trifle!

Vince and I went out to the crash site to put some flowers, and it has been a long time since I was there due to my hip and leg. The terrain where the accident happened is very steep and quite treacherous to navigate. Today was worse – because of the bushfire last year everything has taken on a new vigour and the rustic path we had made has become totally overgrown, difficult to find and full of nettles and jaggy, scratchy plants. I usually wear jeans when I come but because it was 39 degrees I wore a dress – BIG MISTAKE!!! So I am scratched to bits now, but was determined to get through. Once at the actual site where we put his granite plaque it is always strangely tranquil and peaceful – quite the dichotomy considering the trauma that night.

We stopped off at the Vines for some lunch – mostly as another distraction to help me get through the day without curling up in a ball, crying in my bed. Then it was back home with the dogs for a brief while and to put the finishing touches on the trifle.

We met Christina (Neena) and her kids (Amy 11yrs in yr 6, Connor 8yrs in yr 4 and Piper 5yrs in yr 1) at Pinnaroo and we put some more flowers (from Aunty Jack, Nanna and Grandand) and Neena had brought a sea urchin and a seashell ornament as Kyle loved the ocean and used to body board. We spent a little while reflecting and watching the nearby kangaroos. I found two feathers on my way back to the car.

We all went back to Neena’s for a swim in her pool and were visited by a dragonfly who came right close to us. Piper told me that it comes every day when they are in the pool and they call him “Uncle Kyle”. We kept things simple with take-away Fish N Chips, followed by the trifle – which proved to be capable of escaping when dishing up! We listened on Spotify to a playlist of songs Neena had put together for her brother. Although I thought of my grandson, Cash (Kyle’s son) and wished he was here with us splashing in the pool with his cousins, today was focused on MY baby-boy, Kyle.

We also received a card from The Compassionate Friends of WA – who support families in our situation, they send one every year and it does help just to know someone else who has experienced the same cares.

Nothing we do will ever bring him back, but we will always love and remember him – he is still a huge part of our family and I think of him every single day.