Another year without my baby boy Kyle (Yes, I know he was a grown up “Man” but he will always be my baby boy regardless!) and without seeing his baby boy, Cash!

I tried my best to repair the smashed vase that fits inside the granite urns at Kyle’s Memorial Rock at Pinnaroo, including trying to resurface the missing gaps with more clay – but alas it didn’t work. In the end I contact the original supplier to see if it was possible to buy replacements and thankfully it was! Vince went out to get them as we decided to replace the other one that had been repaired just to be on the safe side. We also bought a couple extra to keep at home for the future – just in case.

Due to having Daisy (our Frenchie puppy) Vince and I act like a tag-team so that she always has supervision at home in these early stages. So I went to Pinnaroo alone, replaced the vases and put some flowers there for Mother’s Day. Not exactly how I would choose to spend time with my son on Mother’s Day, but none the less I wanted to connect with him. He did sent me a white feather (which I always feel is to remind me of Cash, as the black ones he sends me remind me of him – his favourite colour!). It was very hectic at Pinnaroo, with lots of people and traffic, and kids running across the road right in front of my car – very scary! So I think I will do my Mother’s Day visits in future either before or after rather than on the actual day.

I went directly from Pinnaroo to Neena’s (Christina’s) place to catch up with my Grandchildren, Amy, Connor and Piper. They had each made cards for me and gave me a little gift they had each chosen at the school Mother’s Day stall! I felt very spoilt – it is always a double edged sword when I feel the love and closeness of these three, it pricks me that I don’t get to see Cash, and the empty void reminds me of how much I love and miss him! I only hope one day he reads these blogs and knows how much he is loved and included in his Dad’s family and reaches out to reconnect with us.

To my surprise Neena handed me a necklace with three tiny silver feet with their birthstones, Amy (Peridot – Aug), Connor (Emerald – May) and Cash (Aquamarine – March). She said that Piper had been playing with it and when asked said I had given it to her to keep. Puzzled, Neena had told her that YaYa would not have given something like this away – so she was returning it to me. I told here that I know my memory is not great at times but I had absolutely no recollection of this necklace, I was seeing it for the first time. It must have been before Piper was born (7.3.2017) but obviously after Cash (13.3.2016).

It was a really bizarre feeling but I knew it was Kyle’s way of reminding me of Cash on Mother’s Day. Neena said she had found Piper with it a few weeks ago and kept meaning to show it to me, but it kept slipping her mind until today! (After checking with other family members it turned out my memory was totally crap – I had never seen it before – my sister had bought it for my Mum who had given a box of jewellery to Piper on one of her trips down to Perth and it must have got mixed up in it – so I posted it back to Darwin.)

Neena, Amy (who is getting very grown up these days) and I then went to the Boulevard Cafe and Tea Rooms at 12.30pm, where I was treated to a High Tea (and bubbles) with 3 generations of the Herriott women! Very special!

If I get to have a “Mother’s Day Wish” it is that maybe next year, or the year after or the year after that, or at some point as soon as possible, that little Cash (who is now 7 years old) is someone returned to his Paternal family and we can get to see his smiling face, and hug him on a future Mother’s Day where we can all be together!